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- Aug 22
The Summer the Hamptons Died -- Daily Intel

Oh, to be rich…

Hamptons full-time resident/contractor Joe Schwenk tweets about the ridiculousness he encounters on a daily basis during the summer when the rich descend on the Hamptons. This is his end-of-summer wrap-up.

“My guys and I did just about everything. Beyond the leaky roofs, broken pool heaters, and $50,000 tree installations (for one tree, singular), we also built a backyard dirt bike track for a kid’s 13th birthday party and fixed a photo booth in a rich guy’s basement in the middle of the night. We drained an entire pool for fear of contamination by a dead raccoon, and we drove dogs (plural) to acupuncture appointments.

We even jump-started $100,000 electric Teslas. For three different people.”

Favorite tweets:

Just found out Mr. P has “Human Texters”. I’ve been texting him for 2 yrs & his 24/7 assistants actually the read the texts to him & respond

MrA’s modern house is totally sparse.In his twins’ room I asked why there were no toys. He said,”No toys allowed,they play with their iPads”

While detailing Ms.J’s Jeep we found a Pocket Rocket & a bottle of Valium in the cupholder. Both go in an envelope & into the glovebox. #SOP
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