Help us eradicate the scourge of references to “mouthfeel,” “foodies,” and, God help us, “sammies.”
Addictive: Food isn’t a drug, despite what Crack Pie might make you think. Let’s please stop calling things “addictive” and/or “habit-forming” when what we really mean is “very good tasting.”
Artisan: It lost its meaning related to food the second Domino’s co-opted it.
Approachable: As in, “the most approachable dish on the menu.” When did food become so standoffish?
Bill of Fare: Let’s just say menu, shall we?
Boasts: While we’re on the subject of menus, why do they always have to “boast” items? All they actually do is “display” them.
Cooked to Perfection: Grub San Fran’s Jay Barmann: “We should all know better than to use this.”
Cornucopia: Only if you’re writing about Pilgrims at the first Thanksgiving. And even then, don’t.
Decadent: It’s the word fat people use to rationalize eating oversize desserts.
Delectable: It sounds like a word a James Bond villain would use.
Eatery: Per Grub Philly’s Collin Keefe: “It makes restaurants sound like some sort of mechanized chow line.”
Enrobe: See Hef ref, above.
Epic: Lord of the Rings is epic; dinner at Per Se is not.
Foodies: The ne plus ultra of words (and concepts) that society needs to forget immediately.
Fusion: It’s not “fusion,” it’s “Asian-Hipster.”
Luscious: Sounds like the name of an R&B singer from 1997.
Meltingly Tender: Why is this the only way people can describe a dish’s tenderness? (And why is the dish in question almost always braised short ribs?) There are other adverbs out there.
A Miss: As in, the dish was “a miss.” What was it even trying to hit?
Mouthfeel: The blow-job-iest of all food words.
Nibbles as a Noun: Ditto “bites,” “victuals,” or even “tipples” if you’re talking about drinks.
Nom (or Nom Nom Nom, etc.): Under no circumstances.
Pillowy: Often used to describe gnocchi or ravioli. As Grub Boston’s Kara Baskin notes, it sounds porny.
Sammies Instead of Sandwiches: For all the obvious reasons.
Savor: It sounds like something only old people do.
-Tastic: If a meal or restaurant focuses on one thing excessively well, the knee-jerk description is always “pork-tastic,” or “carb-tastic,” or “fat-tastic.” The overused construction is completely hack-tastic.
Toothsome: It’s just the worst, and it conjures up images of dentists.
Toque: It refers to the hat that chefs wear, not the actual chef. Let’s just avoid the confusion by never using it again, ever.
Unctuous: People use this to describe food that’s “rich” in a good way, but the word really means “oily” in a bad way. And, as deputy editor Gluck points out, it sounds vomitous.
Velvety or Silky: Have you ever seen soup? Have you seen silk? The two are not similar, at all. So why does everyone call a great soup “silky smooth” or “velvety soft”? More to the point: How gross would it be to actually eat a spoonful of silk?
Yummy: Just don’t.